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Love… Love… Love…
Friends of the same sex, friends of the opposite sex. How do JYJ members understand this? Is it possible for a female friend to become someone that you are in love with?
Junsu was the first to speak: “My answer is very clear. 100% not possible. From the female point of view, it may be possible, but from the male point of view, it is definitely not possible! A female friend who grew closer as a platonic friend, it is not possible for her become a girlfriend.
Yuchun agreed with this opinion of “not becoming confused between love and friendship”.
Jaejoong said, “I think it is not possible.”
Why do you say this?
“Because I have never wavered between love and friendship.”
Then how about love that is between a friendship? You and a friend like the same woman at the same time, or have one-sided love for a friend’s girlfriend, anyone may have at least one such experience, the feeling may have faded or is still lingering in the heart. Just like Lee Seung Chul singing ‘In Love With A Friend’s Girlfriend’, or Kim Gun Mo expressing his regret about a ‘Wrongful Encounter’, and also Hong Kyung Min singing about a ‘Wavering Friendship’ directed at a particular love relationship.
JYJ members’ expressions became serious.
Yuchun and Junsu said resolutely, “No way.” If no longer in touch with that friend, check the situation beforehand to understand it carefully. To prevent any unhappiness, verify it personally. Junsu said, “If it is a friend’s girlfriend, then right from the start, we will not have that kind of thought.”
Junsu also said, “Developing from platonic friends to being in love, it is a bit like a novel or a drama. I also have such a song in my album. A man and woman who were friends from youth started to fall in love with each other, like a fantasy. Because it is unlikely to happen in real life, I think.” Junsu again replies in the negative.
Jaejoong, emphasising the premise that this kind of thing should not happen, quietly revealed his own experience: “When we first met, I did not know. We started to like each other and wanted to start dating, then I realised she was someone that my friend dated. I immediately gave it up.” As he said this, he had a look like he tasted some suffering.
All 3 are the same. Compared to love, they place much more importance on friendship, these 3 young men of 20-plus years.
Picture Credit: DC JYJ Gall
Trans from Jap-Chin: 119
Trans from Chin-Eng: Christie
Shared by: JYJ3
1) My Dear The JYJ : link
2) Love… Love… Love…
3) It’s My Heart, Fans : link
4) Music is My Life : link
5) Reply 2013… : link
JYJ3 
Jaejoong,we heard you in Kiss B.
Was thinking the same (≧∇≦) only in Kiss B he knew about the other man and claimed to be the better choice… However, wow that girl!! I have a specific opinion about such kind of ppl… well…sad that JJ had to suffer bcz of that…
omg i was thinking the same thing..scary.secret love
Jaejoong said Kiss B’ lyrics was NOT from his experience before.
Most of his lyrics is from his experiences. BUT Kiss B is NOT! – he said like this LOL
Reblogged this on JYJ's Fan Worlds.
Now they are going to make me have to discuss this with my husband of 32 years. I know from my point of view we were just friends for 6 months before I decided that I was interested in him romantically. I will have to ask him if he was always interested in me romantically (which might be the case).
I always think the best basis for a successful long term marriage is friendship plus passion.
Me too I think that friendship is one of the important things in a successful relationship *nod nod*
I wonder if they mean that if there is no initial attraction then it isn’t ever gonna happen. I think this is where women differ from men. I had two boyfriends who made it out of the friend zone, but I think they became my friends in hope of something more?
i believe that its true, it’s truly impossible for me to change my friendship to become love. Yea I do feel comfortable when i was being with him and him being with me even when he is with his girlfriend and 3 of us walking together the girl friend will get jealous with me while i feel nothing when he is being lovey dovey with his gf, at the end my best friend who is a guy who always comfort me change his way n stop contacting me even though we’ve been friends more than 5 years and he just met that girl but i don’t feel angry n try to see from his point of view neither i tried to contact him. For me I differentiate Love n friendship clear like what Junsu said “it just impossible” the feeling is different beside a best friend just know too much of us n the ending won’t be good when later we really become a lover but have to separate then the friendship is already damaged n beyond repair.
Good saying JYJ i really need to understand this from men point of view. Thanks for upload n translate this article guys.
Waahhhh, that’s horrible! What kind of friend is that. I get your point that you understand him, I would too, but not if he suddenly doesn’t contact anymore. If he had explained it beforehand, ok, but like that. And what if he breaks up and goes back to you as friend and then has another gf with the same thinking… I’m sorry, that’s just weak and sad in my book, and it’s all bcz she is inconfident.
well …looks like JYJ are the “bros before hoes” kind of guys .
and it’s a good thing to not confuse loving someone and being in love with them .
Meme’s or Gals before Pals.
Wow as a tomboy by nature growing up climbing trees playing ball then transitioning do to the fact all girl school and they would not let me play ball for all boy school I had to be a cheerleader found out later most of my male friends wanted to date me which pissed me off in wondering is that the reason they had become my friend now that I am older I realize feelings in friendships change but I never will want someone one of my friends have dated or even had a deep interest in that I knew about and talked about with them I call it the ultimate betrayal.
Me too (tomboyISH too^^) I had/have that often, but I think they’re confusing love with thinking one is “cool”, did I made myself clear (god, English is so difficult sometimes ^^).
I’m a tomboy too….
Can relate totally. It bothers the crap out of me when I find out that my friends like me like that. I felt like WHY R YOU doing this?? We have a good relationship going and now you call yourself liking me for more than a friend…..Geez.
our noble boys..love and respect them a lot..
I cannot separate the two. I want to love my friends like lovers and be as open and intimate with my friends as such…..which makes for a very lonely existence in a world quick flings and minute rice relationships. If you are my friend, you are my lover too. Nothing sexual…. beloved and cherished. Sex complicates everything. Being same sex or opposite, makes no difference……as long as you both have agreement
you just became more interesting my friend .
Never got called interesting before….I thank you
*nod nod* to this –> friends are beloved and cherished.
Your comment reminds me of Abby, Dharma’s mom from “Dharma and Greg”, LOL.
I think “lover” here means someone you have or wish to have physical intimacy with (an by that I mean s_x). If your friends are your lovers, when you loose the lover you’ll also loose the friend. I don’t think that’s a good thing. Also you can’t share everything with your lover and still remain lovers where as you can share a lot of things with your friend and still remain solid friends. For instance you can ogle and talk about how hot and sexy a passerby is with a friend but not a lover. Because if you do that with a friend you’ll just be having fun where as if you do that with a lover you’ll just be hurting his feelings. 2nd example, you can’t tell your lover about how awful his mother is and still remain lovers where as you can tell your friend about how awful your lover’s mother is, as a form of stress release.
Friends and lovers serve very specific and distinct purposes in our lives. For sanity, they need to be kept seperate. Only very few people have mixed the two and enjoyed it’s fruit, the rest have all been poisoned by that fruit and regretted it.
that’s why I said its makes for a lonely existence and you must be in agreement. When you have innerstanding with another person, there is no need to be kept separate. When I mentioned lover the mind automatically means sex…. World conditioning. Lover to me means a person that I deeply care for on the highest level. To love, adore, admirer and share with. How can you love someone and not also be a friend?? and vice versa. Nowadays sex equate to just about everything. We need touch and physical contact….sex not so much. Even animals understand this.
Nice little world I live in……lol
The word lover is not really a world conditioning, it simply is the word that exists to describe two ppl having a 1. sexual relationship, 2. being in love (like relationship love) with each other, 3. a paramour/sexual partner. So you use it differently, but it’s clear that everyone will understand it the way this word is meant to be understood. The word I would use for you is “lovey-dovey-touchy-feely-friend”, ok, a bit long, but yeah…
I think as long as the agreement is clear and you are doing this with ppl who think the same, everything should be alright. I mean, it’s the same with friends+. It should be only done with clear agreements and in some cases also rules to prevent from hurting each other.
For me letting someone as close as possible, like you said, to love, adore, admirer and share everything with, means more let this person know everything about me, the darkest sides of me, my innermost feelings and thoughts.
So, as long as it doesn’t hurt someone, everything is allowed ^^
we find love trough friendship.. and we to be friend because of love..
JYJ, you are my lovely friend.. he 🙂
Do you think this is the same girl that JJ is talking about?
– Have you been introduced to girls?
“There were twice, but I didn’t end up starting relationship with them. Later on, I knew that one of the girls that I met was an idol group killer who dated a lot of boys in famous idol groups. She was very pretty, had a great personality and was also very rich, but after hearing about her relationships with the opposite gender I didn’t contact her again. Friendship is very important to me. She also dated some of my close friends.”
http://jyj3.net/2012/08/08/interview-120808-my-daily-kim-jaejoong-i-was-introduced-to-a-girl-but-she-is-an-idol-group-killer/
From what I understand JJ’s had that situation only once, so it must be her?!
Btw. what is an idol group >>killer<<?? o.O
mmmm…IMO..I don’t think so because it doesn’t sound like he was in love with this idol killer or anything , just that she had good quality’s that made her desirable .
the one he’s talking about here seems like someone he really wanted because he liked her from the start and was interested in a relationship after knowing her ….I mean he wouldn’t mention the idol killer thing if it was someone he was truly attracted to .
I don’t know why I’m even thinking about it LOL …I usually don’t care about this kind of thing
For me it’s interesting to see everyone’s point of view, not in particular linked to JYJ, but more to the topic itself… to get to know you all better ^^
They must not close the door from their ladies’ friends, don’t they know that true friendship is the best foundation for love/romantic relationship down to marriage?.”Why choose from strangers when you have your friends you’ve known very well? ” , this is what my male friends used to say when when they started to fall in love within the friend circle. Developing from a platonic relationship to romantic is a normal thing considering falling in love is a process, it’s not something weird or disgusting. Yes, there’s what we call whirlwind romance or love at first sight but there’s also called a love developed in time, and I think that’s a stronger kind of love.
“Then how about love that is between a friendship?”
That is a case to case basis. Celebrity example: Simon Cowell having baby with friend’s wife: Mogul mum’s Julie says he’ll be fantastic dad 🙂 http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/simon-cowell-having-baby-friends-2110689
@kris
😀 after all these years i don’t have definite answer (like box of yes & no) on love and friendship, only calculated risk. only when one gets old (and wiser) the risk counting gets more accurate. both are beautiful relationships even to a point of hurting. time is of essence, even faded love and friendship, they paint colors to our lives till the end. let’s hope our boys (JYJ) have the most of their feelings and logic considered when deciding love and friendship.
@maejae
In my age, I agree with the saying that love and relationship has no fixed formula or recipe, it’s up to the two individuals, sometimes the the spark just comes in a most unexpected places and circumstances, with a childhood friend, school or office mates, or with a complete stranger in an airport hallway or in a traffic jam :). Hope JYJ will find the special one who can answer the wishes of their hearts.
kris and maejae,
…”love and relationship has no fixed formula or recipe”…
I agree, you just never know. Although the boys seem fixed in their way of thinking at this point in their life, (and who knows one or maybe all three will continue feeling this way, but when the magic moment happens, hmm.. to deny based on friendship rule), I hope they’ll realize as they grow, it’s okay to feel more. Again, you just never know…
Songs always pop into my mind when I read or hear stories
this is an old lovers and friends song that came to mind reading the above
(the audio is poor but the words are there):
…” time is of essence, even faded love and friendship, they paint colors to our lives till the end”…
So very very true.
Each individual is so different, some may lean more towards conservative and others more to adventurous; in life, the love and pain, the choices we make, what is right and what is wrong, societies rules, all personal experiences… who’s to say what is in your heart, let it be you.
Another song, this one.. love, friends, life:
love, beauty, happiness, freedom… life is what we make it, so is love.
@IjyjNjoy
Thank you for sharing Lovers and Friends, it’s the first to hear this sweet song, I’m smiling while listening, lol. Seems like some yester-years feelings are coming back 🙂 .As we grow older and accumulate some real life experiences, we tend to go out from what were ideals during our younger years. And I’ve seen a lot of movies and read books or hear stories about ” friends and lovers” , no fixed patterns, it’s either happy or sad ending, depending on the parties/circumstances involved.
Chorus:
And all of my life
I’ve been waiting for you
All of my life
I’ve been waiting–for you
It’s hard to live your life
Without one or the other
To find someone who’ll be your friend
And still become a lover
But now I’ll never have to make
A choice between the two
Now all of my life I’ve found a friend
And a lover both in you
How sweet, for me your lover is supposed to be your best friend 🙂
Hope JYJ will find what their hearts desire.
No comment…hahaha
‘Coz I’d fallen once to a friend but married a stranger. And I treasure the friendship that developed through our LOVE… 🙂
i have the same opinion as the boys. for me, once i decided the guy is a friend, i will draw out the line, as he merely will stay as friend no matter how close he is with me. i just cant have romantic feeling for those that my mind has decided to be friend with.
in fact one of my best friend, whom i considered as closest one, left me after i refuse/reject the idea of being his girlfriend..
because for me, being a friend, means u can reveal the good and bad side of you…
while romantically linked..somehow people will just show their good sides..
I think many ppl think like this “because for me, being a friend, means u can reveal the good and bad side of you…while romantically linked… somehow people will just show their good sides..” and that’s something really sad for me… I basically believe that revealing your true self to the person you are in love is essential, bcz imagine having a longlife relationship with someone and this person doesn’t know your true self, the good and the bad… that’s not a desirable relationship for me. You shouldn’t also be “ashamed” of the bad sides of yourself and “hide” them, bcz we all have them, no one is perfect, you know that. Anyway, I think the love between friends and between lovers is both a equally strong love, but it feels completely different.
makiforjyj
…”revealing your true self to the person you are in love is essential, bcz imagine having a longlife relationship with someone and this person doesn’t know your true self, the good and the bad”…
I think the exact same way, I couldn’t imagine living without sharing everything with the one person I chose as the love of my life. I do have one friend who doesn’t share everything with her husband, we have fun teasing her and always joke to reveal how crazy we are, but they are happy, so each relationship is different in life, we never know what is inside someone’s heart, only that person knows.
I am assuming when they say it is not possible for them to go from being a platonic friend to a lover. I think they are saying because they were never attracted to the person like that from the beginning. So that person was immediately put in a locked friendship space in their brain and heart. I guess I can understand their thinking. However, even though I have never fell in love with a platonic friend I do think it is possible. I think it is risky going from a platonic friend to being lovers but i am sure there has been some successful cases. I totally agree but was a little confused about the statement below. I totally agree one should never get with another friends girlfriend or boyfriend. However, I am confused on the first part of the statement Yuchun and Junsu said.
Can anyone give me their thoughts on what they are saying?
Yuchun and Junsu said resolutely, “No way.” If no longer in touch with that friend, check the situation beforehand to understand it carefully. To prevent any unhappiness, verify it personally. Junsu said, “If it is a friend’s girlfriend, then right from the start, we will not have that kind of thought.”
I think the same… it’s not possible from being platonic friends to becoming lovers. However I believe it is possible, when one of those two is in love from the beginning, but is being friend till his chance came. It was like this with my sister. He was in love with her for 4 years. She didn’t know, she was in a relationship, but broke up. He waited a while and then revealed he’s in love ~ they got married 2 months ago (⌒‿⌒) They are like true friends and lovers, both at the same time.
Anyway… “if no longer in touch with that friend”, hmmm that is kind of weird to say. Does it basically say, check with every friend you are not in contact anymore if a particular girl could be his gf? But the rest is pretty clear, right ^^
“If no longer in touch with that friend…” I think what they mean by this is that the girl may say she has broken off with previous bf (who is also their mutual friend) but she may be lying or hiding the truth, as was the case with JJ when he wanted to start dating the girl (idol group killer) he had not realized she was dating his friend because she had not told him. So the point is to confirm not just with her but also with him (the friend) if they have ended their relationship.
The answer is very simple and clear okay …..For me ….. No way too !